Friday, July 29, 2005
Scotty's dead
I told a girl at work that Scotty was dead.
Later i found out that a guy at work is named Scotty.
Boy do i feel stupid.
Later i found out that a guy at work is named Scotty.
Boy do i feel stupid.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Jackass awards 2005
I have decided to start the Jackass awards, to be given to people who go above and beyond the call of idiocy, stupidity, or sheer blinding ignorance. This is not to be given to politicians or political activists, unless they do something massively stupid on a legendary scale.
Media awareness: "People are going to judge me based on one bad thing i did"- Serial killer Karla Homolka/Teale, who's "one bad thing" included necrophilia, rape, incest, torture, pedophilia, false imprisonment and murder. She is now living in Montreal, Quebec and at one point was planning to open a day care center.
Worst Career move: Country singer Mindy Mccready. A successful musician, she allegedly branched out into identity theft and oxycontin related fraud. She plead guilty to the fraud last week, just as new charges of identity theft were levelled. See her site
Civic awareness award: Hands down, this award goes to Mark R. Downs Jr. He was the coach on a team who allegedly paied an eight year old boy twenty-five dollars to hit a handicapped boy in the head so he wouldn't be able to play. To be technically correct, the boy was told to hit him twice, as the first hit to the groin wasn't enough to take him out.
Happy retirement award: Former CEO of WorldCom Bernard Ebbers. For orchestrating an Eleven billion dollar fraud at worldcom, he was sentenced to 25 years in jail. At age 63, that means he will spend the rest of his life in Jail. While i am not sure how much money he actually has left, it is pretty well useless now.
Tourist award: Deranged chainsaw enthusiast Gregory Despres. After allegedly chopping off his neighbors head and killing his wife, he hitched a ride to the U.S. border. Upon arriving at the border, the U.S. guards noted his blood soaked clothes, chainsaw, machette, and axe before letting him across. Apparently you can't stop someone covered in blood from entering the states if they are a U.S. citizen.
Fine dining award: Serial loser Anna Ayala. Too fat, lazy or stupid to get a real job, She obtained and allegedly placed a finger in a bowl of chili she got from a Wendy's restaurant. Then she sued the chain for a large sum of money. The police and coroner noted that the finger did not appear to be consistent with an object that had been cooked at 170 degrees for three hours. She was arrested and the story discredited, but not before sending the stock down and nearly ending the jobs of hundreds of people.
Media awareness: "People are going to judge me based on one bad thing i did"- Serial killer Karla Homolka/Teale, who's "one bad thing" included necrophilia, rape, incest, torture, pedophilia, false imprisonment and murder. She is now living in Montreal, Quebec and at one point was planning to open a day care center.
Worst Career move: Country singer Mindy Mccready. A successful musician, she allegedly branched out into identity theft and oxycontin related fraud. She plead guilty to the fraud last week, just as new charges of identity theft were levelled. See her site
Civic awareness award: Hands down, this award goes to Mark R. Downs Jr. He was the coach on a team who allegedly paied an eight year old boy twenty-five dollars to hit a handicapped boy in the head so he wouldn't be able to play. To be technically correct, the boy was told to hit him twice, as the first hit to the groin wasn't enough to take him out.
Happy retirement award: Former CEO of WorldCom Bernard Ebbers. For orchestrating an Eleven billion dollar fraud at worldcom, he was sentenced to 25 years in jail. At age 63, that means he will spend the rest of his life in Jail. While i am not sure how much money he actually has left, it is pretty well useless now.
Tourist award: Deranged chainsaw enthusiast Gregory Despres. After allegedly chopping off his neighbors head and killing his wife, he hitched a ride to the U.S. border. Upon arriving at the border, the U.S. guards noted his blood soaked clothes, chainsaw, machette, and axe before letting him across. Apparently you can't stop someone covered in blood from entering the states if they are a U.S. citizen.
Fine dining award: Serial loser Anna Ayala. Too fat, lazy or stupid to get a real job, She obtained and allegedly placed a finger in a bowl of chili she got from a Wendy's restaurant. Then she sued the chain for a large sum of money. The police and coroner noted that the finger did not appear to be consistent with an object that had been cooked at 170 degrees for three hours. She was arrested and the story discredited, but not before sending the stock down and nearly ending the jobs of hundreds of people.
Friday, July 15, 2005
Land of the dead
Land of the dead is a very bad movie for the following reasons:
1) It doesn't follow any of the other films logically. The other films had humans behind a barricade or in a safe area, and it was always the humans that screwed up and let the zombies in to kill everything. In this film the zombies take the initiative.
2) The financial system makes no sense. Would you risk your life to steal something, give it to a store who will give you money, which you can use to buy what you just stole at an inflated price? Why not just rob a bank? This also goes against the theme of "day of the dead" when the bank is shown with all sorts of cash lying on the front steps.
3) The fence scene is totally ridiculous. It is inconcievable that NO ONE chose or was pushed into the electric fence. I won't say any more to avoid spoiling it.
1) It doesn't follow any of the other films logically. The other films had humans behind a barricade or in a safe area, and it was always the humans that screwed up and let the zombies in to kill everything. In this film the zombies take the initiative.
2) The financial system makes no sense. Would you risk your life to steal something, give it to a store who will give you money, which you can use to buy what you just stole at an inflated price? Why not just rob a bank? This also goes against the theme of "day of the dead" when the bank is shown with all sorts of cash lying on the front steps.
3) The fence scene is totally ridiculous. It is inconcievable that NO ONE chose or was pushed into the electric fence. I won't say any more to avoid spoiling it.
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Kristin French
I like to think of this young lady as one of my heroes. She was kidnpapped at 15 and tortured to death by two losers.
There was a videotape made by the losers, and just before they killed her she turned to the weiner and told him that he was a sick, pathetic little man.
That kind of thing takes a lot of guts. She had been raped and tortured but came through with enough fortitude to tell the loser that he was a sad, pathetic little man who would never amount to anything (BTW loser #1 is spending the rest of his life in jail, and his loser wife is being hunted like a dog).
To have that kind of courage in the face of certain death is admirable. I hope that if i am ever in that situation i will be that brave.
She would have been 29 on May 10th.
There was a videotape made by the losers, and just before they killed her she turned to the weiner and told him that he was a sick, pathetic little man.
That kind of thing takes a lot of guts. She had been raped and tortured but came through with enough fortitude to tell the loser that he was a sad, pathetic little man who would never amount to anything (BTW loser #1 is spending the rest of his life in jail, and his loser wife is being hunted like a dog).
To have that kind of courage in the face of certain death is admirable. I hope that if i am ever in that situation i will be that brave.
She would have been 29 on May 10th.
